KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get
to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature
of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was an historical
inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's
the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an
unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50
tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it freaking
wanted to. That's the freaking reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly
go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess
of phlegm in its pancreas.
ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped
the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped
the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences
to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its
overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best
chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage
their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable
them to Synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals
of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide
value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an environment
which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change
to become more successful.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision
a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from
the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross
the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road
before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken
did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that
the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing
the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone
cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck
was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are
at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released
the new Chicken Office 2000 which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is
not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was
crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great
periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are
now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken
crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your
frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question
denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken
did not cross the road; it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In
the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: What, I missed
one?
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