-
A pat on the back is only a
few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
-
Don't be irreplaceable. If you
can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
-
It doesn't matter what you do,
it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
-
After any salary raise, you
will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
-
The more crap you put up with,
the more crap you're going to get.
-
You can go anywhere you want
if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
-
Eat one live toad the first
thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the
day.
-
When the bosses talk about improving
productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
-
If at first you don't succeed,
try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
-
There will always be beer cans
rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from
the office.
-
Keep your boss's boss off your
boss's back.
-
Everything can be filed under
"miscellaneous."
-
Never delay the ending of a
meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
-
To err is human, to forgive
is not our policy.
-
Anyone can do any amount of
work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
-
Important letters that contain
no errors will develop errors in the mail.
-
If you are good, you will be
assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
-
You are always doing something
marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
-
People who go to conferences
are the ones who shouldn't.
-
If it wasn't for the last minute,
nothing would get done.
-
At work, the authority of a
person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
-
When you don't know what to
do, walk fast and look worried.
-
Following the rules will not
get the job done.
-
Getting the job done is no excuse
for not following the rules.
-
When confronted by a difficult
problem, you can solve it more easily be reducing it to the question, "How
would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
-
No matter how much you do, never
do enough.
-
The last person that quit or
was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
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