-
If Barbie is so popular, why
do you have to buy her friends?
-
For Sale: Parachute. Only used
once, never opened, small stain.
-
Why do psychics have to ask
you for your name?
-
Corduroy pillows: They're making
headlines!
-
I drive way too fast to worry
about cholesterol.
-
I couldn't repair your brakes,
so I made your horn louder.
-
Depression is merely anger without
enthusiasm.
-
Eagles may soar, but weasels
don't get sucked into jet engines
-
Early bird gets the worm, but
the second mouse gets the cheese.
-
I'm not cheap, but I am
on special this week.
-
I almost had a psychic girlfriend
but she left me before we met.
-
I intend to live forever - so
far, so good.
-
If you ain't makin' waves, you
ain't kickin' hard enough!
-
Mental backup in progress -
Do Not Disturb!
-
Mind Like A Steel Trap
- Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
-
Quantum Mechanics: The
dreams stuff is made of.
-
Support bacteria - they're the
only culture some people have.
-
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers
of religion.
-
The only substitute for good
manners is fast reflexes.
-
When everything's coming your
way, you're in the wrong lane.
-
Ambition is a poor excuse for
not having enough sense to be lazy.
-
If I worked as much as others,
I would do as little as they.
-
Beauty is in the eye of the
beer holder ...
-
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers
in a case ... coincidence?
-
If everything seems to be going
well, you have obviously overlooked something.
-
Many people quit looking for
work when they find a job.
-
When I'm not in my right mind,
my left mind gets pretty crowded.
-
Everyone has a photographic
memory. Some just don't have film.
-
If you choke a smurf, what color
does it turn?
-
Who is General Failure and why
is he reading my hard disk?
-
What happens if you get scared
half to death twice?
-
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged
with battery.
-
I poured Spot remover on my
dog. Now he's gone.
-
I used to have an open mind
but my brains kept falling out.
-
Shin: a device for finding furniture
in the dark.
-
How do you tell when you run
out of invisible ink?
-
Laughing stock: cattle with
a sense of humor.
-
Wear short sleeves! Support
your right to bare arms!
-
OK, so what's the speed
of dark?
-
Black holes are where God divided
by zero.
-
All those who believe in psychokinesis
raise my hand.
-
I tried sniffing Coke once,
but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
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